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narlea
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Name: Narlea
Gender: Female
Interests: i like to chill. Play guitar, Um...basketball, sports, most of em. Im more of a watcher, depending on who im playin and the mood im in. Im up for basketball (almost)neday tho, too bad i stink at it! i have like no skill!
Expertise: i am, an awesome singer, i have to admit. No im just kidding. Im not an expert in nething, but um...nothing...
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Business
Message: message me
Member Since:
9/27/2004
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| ok...ok...
so i am completely discouraged at the moment. But i will just get over it i guess...i just wanted to express that with neone who is may be reading this. I know that includes like one person but whatever! lol! They are stupid problems anyway! ha! ;) well...UGH!!! WHATEVER! nothing is encouraging at the moment! nevermind...yes it is! Im so Freaking Bipolar! ha! ;) | | |
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Current mood:  pessimistic
It feels great to feel left out (and im not even home yet)....My biggest fear right now...Is to go home..and not feel like i belong anymore. Im already expecting it! Im just waiting for it to happen! Im so excited to go home yet, I want to stay here...with my "new" friends. I dont know how i should feel about going home. I think what im going to do is suck it up, and whatever hapens....happens! Am I afraid to go home? ha! Yeah right! the only thing im afraid of is NOT getting a Job! No, for real...my only fear is people going places and leaving me! ha! you know what, forget them (if that happens) I have God, my family, my Liberty Friends! ha! I cant wait to come back to Liberty already! I kinda feel like this summer is going to suck BIG TIME! i know someone who will always make time for me...My sister, my parents and my cousins Kedra and Shelly! i hope they havent forgotten me either (kedra and Shelly that is, my parents and sister better not have forgotten me, i just talked to them like 2 seconds ago..literally)! im being so pessimistic! i need to chill out! ha! ;) Good day to you all! whoever reads this thing! (yes i stole that mood from myspace...jeeze!) | | |
| I have learned a lot this week. That God has that special one made JUST FOR ME!!! And he's so worth waiting for! I am so content in being single and I'm so grateful to be experiencing God's love! I am so grateful to have this time to grow in him before I start a relationship with anyone else... Before I would say, yes of course I'm single and satisfied, but I think then I was only fooling myself. Still worrying about whether or not I was going to find that special one. But I have to wait for God's timing. Maybe I will never get married. But hey, marriage is only temporary anyway! There's a whole life in heaven I have to look forward to! There are some people God put on this earth to be single...am I one of them? Um...no, I don’t think so. Right now I have too much of a desire to be a productive mom and an amazing wife...maybe things will later change (my desires), maybe not. I’ve learned not to worry about it. And that my biggest desire should be to Honor and obey and love God. Not to be a wife...or a loveable mom! That comes after him. He should be and is my number one priority. Have I spent too much time worrying about whether or not I’m going to end up an old maid! Of course I have! But it stops here. It took a long enough time for me to get at this point in my life and a special person (whom I think God placed in my life only for a moment) to push me on in this direction. To show and teach me the fact that I have to find out who I really am, and not what the world expects me to be...but who God wants and expects me to be. God is Amazing and he will forever reign! he is: King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Prince of Peace, Mighty God, Ancient of days, Alpha and Omega, Beginning and End, Savior, Messiah, Redeemer, Friend, Emmanuel, I AM, The Lamb, Living God, Eternal Father, Wonderful Councilor…It's so amazing to know and realize that the same God that created the stars, and the sun and the moon, the galaxy. The same God that created the birds of the air, the best of the field and the fish of the sea, the same God who created day and night, the same God that separated the water from the water, who made the expanse and called it heaven, who made the waters under the expanse gather together and commanded dry land to appear. The same God who created all of this world, and the entire nation, and the entire universe and the entire GALAXY…made me!!!! For I was fearfully and wonderfully made, woven in my mothers womb. God knows when I sit down and when I rise up! He knows the number of hairs on my head! He knows EVERYTHING about me; because he loves me! I am God's beloved! | | |
| Today, he wont save the day. He's not going to save the day today.... | | |
| So! I just want to go far far far far far far far away from here...not home, not to anyones house. I just want to go to heaven. At least there i know i can forget about whats going on here. the on going battle i have with myself, my feelings. have i let it overtake me and overwhelm me? this Sucks so badly! No i dont want to die and im not suicidal , If God was like Narlea, here... or earth I would choose heaven. And who wouldnt? But i want to go home more now than ever... I dont want things to be right here. I Dont care anymore. I feel like i have no place to run. I mean i have God, i always will...but i just dont want to be here anymore right now...not now...maybe tomorrow(hehe) but not now. Am i running away from my problems? No! 'cause theres nothing i can freaking do about it! Could i have avoided it? A couple of them! but whatever! I'm so sick of this habitual way of thinking...We'll see...time will tell...maybe ill write later....but no one reads this...ha! o well!
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